Connect with me.

I'm Baggin for a connection, But not reaching out.
I'm upset when He doesn't call, or she doesn't have time to talk.
When Its just a text that doesnt explain everything.
When I come from the conversation and feel like it went no where.
I need to make more of an effort to realize that life is busy and you are not going to be were you want to be with everyone.
I don't want to make excuses. Because I'm just as fault as the next person. Todays world of cell phones, computers and social networking has made it soooo easy for us to just say "Hi" in a text or a message and make us feel like we've really reach out in a way that was necessary for us to get connected.
I'm sorta at the point where i want to quit it all. But I so love getting to see whats going on with everyone.. Few weeks ago I've was without My DVR on my Tv. for those who do not know that means i have not been able to record, pause, skip or watch any recordings i have had before. I've come to realize how lazy and impatient I've become when it comes to things like that. I want it NOW or I want it to wait till I'm ready. I think thats Kinda how I've look at relationships lately too. If its not easy its not worth it...  AND THAT IS SO not how I really truly Feel!!! not at all. I have to say that I use to be good at reaching out, Since I've been working more I've been not so good about it. I just have to say I don't know what role I play in some peoples life. I don't want to be the over baring sister, daughter, or friend. I also do not want to come across as someone who doesn't care at all. I'm just sitting her realizing I truly have less than 5 friends in my life and that includes my husband... Since I got married and had kids most of the high school friends just kinda moved on and so did I. I've been wanting more, But I just don't know where to find it, or how to fit into my life. I know I could do this on my own and it takes time with moving and not knowing anyone and not being very involved in anything doesn't help at all.... I just so lost In my relationships. I've Had this so heavy on my heart. I just need to get it out. I have my family but sometimes you just want more then what you have. I read a quote the other day saying If you dont like where you are, Your not a tree so change it.  Or something like that. anyway.... Just getting that off my chest. I know it takes two to tango.This post has been lingering here for a month or so.... There are a few people who reach out, are there for me. and i really appreciate it .... But I feel its time to just Get it out there so its no longer a draft...
I LOVE THIS SONG BY THE FRAY. I feel like some days its my theme song.

"And suddenly I become a part of your past

I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless"