a little life update. Things have been so crazy.
Kaleigh started Preschool! she loves it. but sometimes you can tell she would rather stay home and not go.
it seems like we been having a lot of interesting life experiences. First off my husband taho broke down so we were a one car family for One week. And lets just say I've never been so happy to get that car back up and running. we had to wake the kids up to take kevin to work at 5am then kevin would have to take them to pick me up at 10pm almost every day. it was crazy and I'm just happy that is over.
I work 50 hours this week! YAY over time. I'm pretty excited to see my next check. Works kinda stressful some days because some people get really upset over things they shouldnt be. Of course some people have a right to be angery.
 Every one in the family has a cold  (or allergies not sure which) and the kids went to the doctor and got shots yesterday. He said he thought it was both allergies and a cold.
I'm trying to lose my baby weight I have from collin..  That's going ok. lost a few ponds the past week or so... I'm really hoping to get back to the weight I was before kaleigh. I walk almost every day so that's really helping I'm not on a "diet" but I just watch what I eat and trying to eat things that are better  for me. I'll keep ya guys updated if I reach my goal.
I've been so crazy busy I just don't even know where else to go with this. So its just a little up date.  Hopefully I will post more later this month.

the busy work of life

As most of you know i'm going to be getting pretty busy. Just got full time at my job!! YAY! i'm so excited. A little worried i'll be missing my babies. but I know its for the best and it wont be forever! We have been really tight on money lately because we have to pay back a lot of money that we got from the army, (we knew about the first payment this year and saved like crazy to pay it) and then they turn around and ask us to do it again not even 6 months later, with 3 or 4 month notice.. let me tell ya its not easy coming up with money out of thin air. I'm really hoping I can get as many hours as possible to make sure we don't get behind.
Our little family is doing well. Kaleigh Just turned 3 on Sunday!!



My Little girl  is Growing up.



Make sure you click so you can see the whole picture!!! Kaleigh is Getting So big  I love her, But she can be very stubborn and is a lot more like me then i'd like to admit. Sometimes when she talks I hear myself in what she says. My parents say She nothing like personality wise me, But just like me Energy/temper wise. Of course she is such a girl and Although I am a girl, I've never like the Girly things, so we are not so sure where she got this all from. she has fits when she doesn't get her way, but we are working on getting her to talk about her feelings/wants instead of screaming about them... She lives in a land of Faires and mermaids, where deigo (doras cousin) Rescue animals and she helps him save them. she often "talks" on the phone with him and then when she's "done" kaleigh tells me about all the adventures they have shared. It is quite interesting.. The other night she didnt want to sit down and eat because she was talking to Diego. I have a feeling it wont be the last time she wont want to come to the table because she is talking to a boy.Even if this time his imaginary, that probably only last a few years... she seems to have a very tender soul, Easily hurt and worried about spiders and bugs hurting her. she is such a sweet girl. I love Her so much for the person she is growing into.

Collin just started to cut teeth, None have push all the way threw but they are Just sitting there waiting to pop up. I feel the bumps and i feel so bad for the little guy. But what can you do its a part of life that None of us really remember so i guess thats the best part of it. He Lives on his belly Army crawling around to whatever he sees that sparks his interest. Or he just Follows kaleigh, me, or panda, Our cat around. Every time he sees Panda he Shoots off towards her  to try to get ahold of her before she runs away!! Every so often she holds still for him and  he gets to pet her. I'm almost sure he's going to create trouble for us. Always into something no matter how long you have your back turned. He is such a happy baby giggles real easy and seems to be a very busy body.  also Just the past few week or so started to pull up on things.  climbing my leg, Kaleighs couch, our lower chairs. Its so crazy!! Just today he pulled himself off the floor to his get his toys on his exersaucer.. he got himself to his knees so he could pay with what he wanted!! kinda scared me but he handle him self very well.. Also he is Pig (and i mean that in a nice way), eats a baby jar of fruit or veggies, then something else we are having thats soft.. when it comes to food he will eat anything, yes I know he is just a baby(and of course we dont give him anything his belly cant handle), but he doesn't care what you are eating he thinks he should get some and will Lunge after your plates or hands if he is near by while you are eating. Regardless of how sad or upset I get he always makes me smile.I love my Little boy

And as for my husband, He has been working hard. Switching jobs then going back to his old one. I would ask you pray that his back gets better, it seems to take a bigger toll on him every day. I think I will make a longer post about the more detail stuff with this another time. I have a lot of Feelings about this that would be a great share another day, this post is pretty long already. I hope you like my LONG and big update. TWO in one week!!    :)

Empty moments

I made this forever ago.

Years ago I wrote down "I miss you every time my life has an empty moment."
I also wrote. "I live a life filled with empty moments"
I love this thought  of "empty moments"

When I thought about these empty moments,
it was in my mind: every time what I was doing had no meaning.
Every time I did something and wish it would have meant more.
Every moment I couldn't recall and wish I could.
Every time I felt Empty and alone.
which when I was younger, was a lot.
I'm pretty sure These "empty moments" were glimmers of depression
I just know that I thought to myself there goes another empty moment.
Now I think about it and its like why was I so sad
I made this picture years ago. came across it while I looking through my pictures on my older computer.

I still Love the quote. Always as beautiful as the saddest rain storm. I'm not sure where I got it or if I made it up....I really don't know where I'm going with all this its just some thoughts I was having before going to bed last night. I guess I also was reading my old poems and quotes and realize I had forgotten that I once was just so sad/mad, why each poem is another sad story. but it was the best way I know how to express my feelings, and I guess I need to write down the sadness to forget it. I know I did A lot of that. Writing down thoughts and forgetting them, trying to forget the feelings attached to them. I guess I'm just realizing that I use to be very sad. And I know why I was sad, I can remember being upset over things that happened. Just reading the words I wrote, I guess sometimes I surprise myself in how sad I really was. Looking at all the pictures I use to save. All the broken hearts I felt like I related to some how. Or I would see and say "thats so me
Its strange to say I almost feel like I was waiting for someone to save me. I wasnt waiting for the knight in shining armor necessarily. I Knew that was just a fairy tail. I always knew I could turn to god for guidance and he was always there for me. As some of you may or may not know, I've herd the Gospel my whole life. (my parents are pastors) I know god was always there for me and I just had to ask for his help, but I guess sometimes I didn't want to admit I needed help. I wanted to be strong and do it all on my own. I know a lot of us are like that, for some reason We as humans feel it is necessary to do it all and do it right, and we like to do it by ourselves, on our own terms. I guess I'm trying to say its easier when you have a guide who can see the whole picture. God was in my life every time I had an unexplainable empty moment. he was Someone who knows why Empty moments are sometimes necessary. I don't want to live a life of empty moments, I want to enjoy each moment. Empty or whole. whatever God feels I need to experience I will. Of course I know I wont be doing it all alone. I guess i want to look on the bright side of things, and try not to be a downer. I want a happy life. Not an Empty one. I dont have a lot of "empty moments anymore. and thats something I'm very happy for