Sink Or Swim

I've been looking through one of my poem note book, which has pockets in it full of random paper I've written on. I've come across many things I've thought about, but forgot about once on the paper.
One Piece of paper in Particular caught my eye.

 It was from the summer after I graduated (2007)
The Summer that everything changed.
It was the summer I started down the path that got me here.
The Summer I met Kevin.
This is one of the first things I wrote after Kevin and I started to date.
I remember when I wrote this.
I was at camp.
By the water when I saw a Sign.
That Said *DANGER* no swimming.
and here is what I wrote.



Title: Sink Or Swim.
-But What if I want to Jump in?
-What if things don't go as I plain?
-What if I drown?
-What if I jump in and there is no one to save me from the murky waters?
-What if I find something new in the waters I didn't know was there before.
-What if the waters shallow enough to stand, then turns into sinking sand.
-What if the bottoms rocky and I end up getting hurt.
-What if I'm not ready to get my feet wet.
-What if it looks warm but ends up being cold.
-What if the person I want to save me just walks by.
-What if I don't want to be saved.
-What if I'm not dressed for the journey?
The water looks soo good, But I dont know if I want it that bad.
I'm so tired of these "what ifs"
I might as well Just jump in and see if I Sink or Swim.



I love this No Swimming picture.



Everything I've been writing lately is venting, or something I'm not quite ready to share.

I'm just really stressed, and very busy.
hopefully i'll get a little more time and beable to let you all know whats going on.

Children Update.

Kaleigh.

She is getting so big. She is SOOO SMART.
almost everyday she ask to go to school.
Yesterday she said "I go to school today?! I said no, not till your birthday.. She said I go to school, so i go to work so i make moneys!" made me laugh... because she had such a serious face on.
she starting to remember when i say she can have things. Example : I tell her you can have your candy tomorrow after lunch. and after lunch she will ask for it.
She is full of non stop Energy, Laughs, and smiles
Kaleigh will hold full conversations and then sometimes tell you the same thing 20 times. She does get  little whinny sometimes but they say shes at that age.
she still loves dress and wants to do everything that mommy or daddy does.
Hopefully here soon she will be diaper free. but thats a process that could take some more time.

Collin.

collin is a Bundle of laughs. He is SOO ticklish. when i put his clothes on in the morning he giggles as i pull the sleeves over his arms EVERY TIME. like it doesnt happen everyday or something.  he is such a happy baby. I am so blessed with him. He is pretty easy going and lets you know when he's not liking something. He got some coos going on. He discovered he has hands and they are his favorite thing to chew, right next to any toy you give him that he can fit in to his mouth. He also has started to play with toys a little although a lot of the time he ends up dropping them. He sleeps threw the night almost every night. sometimes he will sleep later than kaleigh. He kinda scoots around he kicks so much that he ends up going around in circles on his back or belly....

 enjoy.